Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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