My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
