Where is the hickey?
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
