just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
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