So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
