finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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