Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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