It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Randomize
