found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Randomize
