That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
