Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
