you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I want to be your penis for a week.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
