we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Randomize
