She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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