apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
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