idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
