got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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