I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
