I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
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