I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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