I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
