There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
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