I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Randomize
