NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
