She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Randomize
