I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
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