On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize