fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Dick very happy bro
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Randomize
