some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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