You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
