Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
