no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
