Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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