just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
