Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Randomize
