nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
