I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
