my sisters under your porch take her home
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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