I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
