i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
They took my balls.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
