Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
