Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
No subtext here. People are naked.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
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I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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