everyone is single if you try hard enough
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize