okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Randomize
