Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I think my moral compass just broke
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
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