You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
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