Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
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2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
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I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I had to cum in my sink.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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