Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
