so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Randomize
