I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I think a kid would responsible me up
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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