What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize