: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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