can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Randomize
