dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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