She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
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