So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
he told me I talked like a deaf person
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
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