oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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