My first STD was from a foam party
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
