he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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