i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
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