My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
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