During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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