were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
