if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
