Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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